


Holiday Aftermath

by I_llbedammned



Category: Black Widow (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Hawkeye (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Christmas, Christmas Party, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 04:53:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16947369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_llbedammned/pseuds/I_llbedammned
Summary: In the aftermath of the Snap the Avengers, or what remain of them on Earth, gather together and try to celebrate the holidays.  It is broken, but they are trying to remember how to live.





	Holiday Aftermath

It seemed like the world should have stopped with the snap, but it didn’t, at least not completely. There was days, or was it weeks – it was kind of hard to tell how much time passed in the initial days as the Avengers sifted through the piles of ash that used to be their friends and the world they lived in. Little was said between the team as they each wondered for their own loved ones and tried to come to terms with the fact that so much had been lost even though they were trying their damnedest to succeed and came so close to a victory. None of them knew what to say so none of them said anything, choosing instead to walk with rubber legs to the Quinjet that took them home and look at the sky.

Steve was the first to come back to the Avenger’s Tower. Maybe it was the fact that he was already in New York or maybe it was just plain nostalgia for the closest thing to a family he had known since his own had long since passed away that lead him down those familiar streets. He didn’t like New York’s streets now, they felt too empty even though in the two months since the spirit of New York had begun to pulse once more. No matter what you threw at a New Yorker, they always bounced back with a vengeance –even if you were a Titan it seemed. Before he knew it he was at the glass doors of the tower and figured he might as well let himself in.

It was bizarre, like being in a ghost town. The rooms were brightly lit by sunlight as everything sparkled as if Tony had just stepped out for a minute rather than taken off into the depths of space. Steve didn’t even know if he had survived the snap, but some part of him wanted to believe that Mr. “I built better than this in the desert with scrap” wouldn’t be taken out by any pesky bit of magic. His ego would never stand for the loss.

Steve made his way back to his old room and lay down on the bed, staring across the room to the poster of Babe Ruth that he had hung up to remind him of the old days. His cellphone began to ring and he looked down. Natasha.

“Hello.” He asked, his voice heavy with memories.

“Where are you? I checked your apartment.” She asked, sounding concerned. It wasn’t like her to worry, but with so few of them left that she could trust she had been leaning on Steve more often.

“I’m at the Tower.” He said simply. 

Silence greeted him on the other end of the line.

“Why?” she asked, her voice curious and almost scared.

“Seemed like the right thing to do.” He quipped, “I figured if we’re gonna find a solution to this mess and see what we can do about it, the solution will be right where we all began.” No such thought had been in his head before he said the words, but as they came out of his mouth they seemed to ring true.

The sound of a car door slamming, “Be right there.”

She found him immediately in his room, still sitting in silence more or less where he had been when she had called. Other than the slow movement of the sun over the glittering mass of towers, nothing much had changed. For a moment she stood in his doorway, her arms crossed as she leaned in a doorway and said nothing choosing instead to watch him. He had moved from sitting prone and was bent over something.

“Find anything interesting?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. His shoulders jolted with surprised.

“Nat. You’re here earlier than I thought you would be. Thought you were thirty minutes away, if you were at my apartment.”

She shrugged though she knew he couldn’t see her, “Traffic was easier than expected.” Well, that and the fact that she had begun moving as soon as she hadn’t found him and was mobile by the time they were on the phone together. She was closer to ten minutes by the time she figured out where he was.

He still made no effort to move or face her, putting a hand to his eyes. Gracefully Natasha moved to sit next to him. There was a red notebook in his left hand and tears were in his eyes. Upon feeling the pressure of her next to him he made an effort to turn away. “Sorry. You shouldn’t see me like this.” He tried to brush the tears away and straighten his back, putting on a strong face once more, but they wouldn’t stop. “It’s not fitting for a leader to have a breakdown in front of the people he is leading.”

“You don’t have to be a leader then, at least not now. “ she said, putting a hand on his shoulder, “Maybe for once you can just be Steve around me.”

He laughed a little, “Easy for you to say. Pretty sure your training means you don’t even have tear ducts anymore.”

She gave a smirk, “Not quite. That was the model they designed after me.” Her eyes flicked to the notebook, “Find something of Bucky’s?”

He shook his head, “No. Wanda’s.” He felt his voice cracking at went silent, trying to swallow the lump in his throat that just wouldn’t go away.

“You are her were a thing?” she asked matter of factly.

“No, no. Nothing like that. We were friends, that’s all. Good friends.”

“Weird. I never saw you two hanging out. I mean other than work.”

“I know we’ve worked together a lot, but contrary to what people think you don’t actually watch me all of the time. Those long nights where you were on a stakeout and Vison was off trying to see if he could contact whoever is in S.H.I.E.L.D. that would listen to us, we were just left alone to exist as humans, not that either of us were terribly used to that idea.”

Natasha’s gaze softened. She forgot how Steve was pretty much a nicer version of what had been done to her, that from his early years he had been little more than an experiment that worked for the government. It was a gilded cage, but a cage nonetheless. Wanda was locked in a basement with her brother for years to give power to the enemy without understand that there others like them out there. It was a shame they never got to talk more often while she was still around. “I’m glad you two managed without us watching.”

“She was-“ He took a deep rattling breath in, “She was teaching me how to draw. I’ve always kind of doodled, but she was otherworldly. She said that when she couldn’t see the outside world, she would instead create one.” Without prompting he opened the book to a page depicting a purple-blue sea that almost seemed to glow through the ink. “Like this one. She drew it after her brother and her snuck out and visited the sea for the first time. She said it looked like fairy magic as the sun was setting. Or this one-“ He flipped the pages to a sea of stars scattered throughout the cosmos in a tree formation, “She said this is what it looked like when she had a vision of the Asgardians coming to Earth. Her skill was something that she hoped to impart to me, even if all I could draw were ugly planes and war scenes. That type of thing never bothered her, she never shied away from war stories.”

Natasha grinned softly, “She was damn impressive at it and a survivor to the core.” Art helped after you escaped something like the torment Wanda had escaped as she knew all too well. Natasha had turned to her dancing quite a bit as an escape before the act became too painful for her to bear anymore.

“Yeah…she was.” Steve’s wistful grin turned watery and he buried his face in his hands to conceal his tears.

Words would only cheapen what he was showing her. She knew he wouldn’t cry in front of any of the others. Silently she wrapped an arm around his shoulders and held him. He made no effort to push away and leaned into her a little, taking what solace he could in her form. At last the tears began to lessen and Nat felt like she could speak again, “I know there’s no going back, but for what it’s worth I’m sorry to see her go.”

“She almost had him, destroyed a stone and everything.” He said with admiration in his voice. “I know I couldn’t do what she did. She was a better person than I.”

Now was not the time to argue morality politics, so Natasha softly demurred and looked around the room. “Feels a bit silent around here without everyone.”

Steve looked around, the last of the tears –for now at least- flowing down his face, “Think I’m actually going to do it. Try to get the group back together.”

“Think that’s a good idea? Won’t we be targets if we’re all together?” The thought of putting more people at risk from whoever would be around to prey on their weakened planet made Natasha’s stomach lurch with dread.

“The world needs heroes, Nat. Now more than ever. Even if we're at risk, we're less of a risk if we are united. If we don’t start the rally, no one will. Besides,” He began to get up drying his eyes on the sleeves of his jacket, “I think Pepper could use the extra company around here. Sure must be lonely filling Tony’s shoes all by herself.”

“I’ll try talking to her about it.” Natasha went to get up and head towards the door. There was work to do, a mission to focus them.

“Oh and Nat?” He reached out a hand towards her.

She paused and looked backwards at him. “What?”

“Thanks.” He said, looking like he wanted to say more but unable to find the words, instead stumbling over them a couple times.

"You’d do the same for me.” She said by way of accepting it before leaving the room to go find their red headed landlord.

That was how the great exodus to the Tower had started. Bruce came next, not making eye contact but moving right into the labs. They would know he was there by the traces of food in the kitchen. He wouldn’t even talk to Natasha til he had been there for a month, finally breaking down and thankfully not unleashing the Green Guy on them all in the process. Thor moved back in next. He came in with a smile, but there was pain and anger in his eyes that they caught when he thought no one was looking. Once or twice Steve would swear he even saw the god crying, but pointing that out would do no one any good so he never brought it up. Clint was next. No one expected him, they all thought he would be busy with his family but when Nat asked about his family he went real quiet and changed the subject quickly.

“Something feels off.” Natasha said, finally as snow started to flurry outside. She stood in a black cocktail dress, watching the ice drift down to the streets below.

“What do you mean?” Steve asked, raising his eyes off the schematics for a ship that Tony had been keeping notes on. He was dressed in a black T-shirt and jeans with his brown leather jacket wrapped around him tightly.

“It feels like we did a whole lot of fighting, but are not actually living.” Natasha said, shifting uncomfortably, “It’s like we’ve all become tools. Even if it’s our own design this time, it feels…wrong.”

Steve tried to think about the last time that any of them had thought about anything other than the snap and what they had lost. He couldn’t remember working on anything else since, even though he tried desperately to think of even a single instance. All of it was war now, war and loss. He wasn’t one to advocate slacking off, but if they weren’t at least trying to live their lives after, what were they fighting so hard to keep Thanos from reclaiming?

Normally they’d rely upon Clint or Tony to do something wild and unpredictable, but they were not there to rise to the occasion either because of the losses they suffered or – no he couldn’t think about “or” right now. Without them, Steve supposed it was his turn to do something that would remind them that they were still human. His eyes drifted to the calendar. For God’s sake it was Christmas in three days and they had barely noticed the season shifting.

“Think I got a solution to that, provided you’re game to help.” He said, the barest trace of a smile making its way uncertainly across his face.

Natasha raised her eyebrows quizzically, “I’m listening.” 

They worked with lightning fast speed, knowing that they would have limited time to enjoy themselves and wanting to keep it as quiet as possible lest their enemies find out what they were doing and try to attack them while their guards were down. Steve put the last touches on everything while Natasha went around to each of their rooms to round them up.

“What is this, Nat?” Clint asked, sounding annoyed, “I swear if this is some strange scheme, this is not the time-“

His complains died upon his lips when he saw what was before him. A classic Christmas fitting of a Hallmark card was in front of him, splayed out over Tony’s overly modern furniture. Garland was hanging off the eaves and tinsel glittered on the two story tall tree that jutted upwards. Cheesy boxes wrapped with ribbon sat under the tree and ribbons were strung up along the walls. A phonograph, likely dug out of Steve’s room, was just being set up and began to play some Johnny Mathis. Natasha had even dug out some of the fake snow and threw it around the fireplace that smelled like pine trees.

Stunned Clint took a seat on the edge of a couch. Steve stood by, trying to put on a grin as he fixed the red sweater and green corduroy pants, dusting the glitter from the ornaments off of them. Thor entered into the room and nodded with approval at the fire, taking a seat next to Clint and eagerly pouring himself a glass of mead, before passing a glass to Clint. “You have brought back the Solstice celebration?” He asked, raising a toast to the ancestors silently before taking a drink.

“Yeah. Figured we could all use a break from work.” Steve said, “Merry Christmas.”

Thor thought about it carefully before responding, “It is time we honored the ancestors on the darkest night. A feast among warriors is a fitting honor.”

“I can’t guarantee warriors, but I can guarantee at least that they’ll be a feast among clowns today.” Clint said, attempting a joke which Thor took with a solemn nod of his head.

Bruce came in next, looking around at all of the decorations before shaking his head at Natasha. “No, no. Don’t tell me you did this.”

She grinned, “I had some help. What do you think?” 

“I think that this is foolish.” He said coldly, “What if Thanos’ armies come back while we are slacking off?”

Not put off by his hesitancy Natasha gently took him by the arm, “Then at least we’ll die enjoying ourselves.”

“I should go.” He turned to leave.

“Bruce.” His name being said by her lips stopped him dead in his tracks, “If we don’t appreciate being alive, what makes surviving worth it?” she asked, her voice low so as to not distract the others who were currently debating whether or not a clown could also be a warrior.

Bruce seemed hesitant, but her cajoling convinced him to at least take a seat and try to have fun.

“Enjoying ourselves?” Clint asked, a smirk returning to his face, “Kind of hard to do that with the golden oldies playing. Who let the old man make the playlist?” He asked, motioning to Steve.

“They’re classics.” Steve said stubbornly. Slowly the room began to feel warmer, like they were allowed to laugh again for a little.

Footsteps sounded in the hall, heard above the music and Steve stopped the phonograph. Heels on the marble foretold the coming of Pepper Potts.

She opened the door and the room froze expecting her to do something tragic. No one brought up Tony to her since the snap had happened. Her eyes were wide as she looked around, holding her arms uncertainly around her. “Mind if I join you?” she asked, her voice sounding small, “I kind of don’t want to be alone on Christmas.”

“Come right in.” Steve greeted, “You’re practically an Avenger.” The room echoed similar responses.

Conversation returned. It was broken conversation at times and much more quiet than what they would normally have done were all of them there, but it was good to see all of the faces not bent over in pain or concentrated in work. They looked older, but tonight they were allowed to laugh.

It wasn’t much and it was cheesy, but it did what it needed to. It gave them hope. They needed every shred of hope that they could get now. Maybe they would die tomorrow or Thanos would come back with that gauntlet to finish the job, but they would have tonight as a small spark of light among all the great darkness that had followed them all year.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the Superhero_land community on LJ's Pick Your Ally challenge. It was written to go with ama_ranth_827's graphics.


End file.
